Friday, February 3, 2012

HIPSTER CRIME BEAT: THE IRONIC BOW TIE


I don't think I'm alone.  The bow tie has got to go.  I think when you see an older gentlemen wearing one, it harkens back to a time when it was still reasonably fashionable.  The ironic use of the bow tie in modern pop culture has sadly become a crime of hipster douche-baggery.


The bow tie alone might have survived a bit longer, but when worn in conjunction with geeky colored glasses, sweaters five sizes to small for you and a waxed moustache?  Yeah, you've gone too far.


No one is impressed with your old timey-ness.  We just want to punch you in the ovary -- you know, if you had one.  


I think Abe Lincoln said it best...



THE BARK MITZVAH


Yes, it's true.  There are a handful of Jewish dog owners that extend the observance of the Bar Mitzvah to their four legged friends.  Silly, though it may seem, the Bark Mitzvah is on the rise.   When, you might ask, is it appropriate to hold such an occasion?  According to those in the know, a Bark Mitzvah can be held when a dog reaches 13 month or 13 years.


It might seem odd, but in truth, many religions make special considerations for pet owners.  Many churches will bless your pets.  St. Francis of Assisi was the patron saint of animals.  


Still, some rabbis find the practice of Bark Mitzvahs distasteful and believe they are a "desecration of a cherished Jewish tradition."  Me?  I just think it's silly, but mainly because I have a hard and fast "no pet costume" rule.  


 In the event you don't that believe this is real, have a look at the video below...

 




Thursday, February 2, 2012

JUST SAYIN...


WHAT DO THESE TWO HAVE IN COMMON...  HMMMM

THE SUICIDE SOLUTION


It's always sad to hear about a death by suicide.  Especially in the case where the person was living in pain from ill health or a compromised physical and mental state.  It's not a new road.  It's a well traveled one and suicide -- right or wrong -- becomes the solution to their problems.   Here is a list of some other notable suicide solutions.

DON CORNELIUS



Cornelius was a well known tv producer and creator of the syndicated dance/music show Soul Train.  Tavis Smiley was quoted as saying "he saved black culture."   He was a well respected icon that brought part of the black experience into the homes of Middle America.  Years later, significant health issues such as Dementia and Alzheimer's compounded his mental and physical disposition.  He shot himself in the head on February 1st, 2012 at the age of 75.

HUNTER S. THOMPSON


Gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson was synonymous with the counter culture movement that believed you couldn't trust the man and that doing a copious amount of drugs and alcohol was an important aspect of personal freedom and self expression.  Sadly, in his advancing years, he came to accept that the wild lifestyle he led had -- in the end -- compromised his ability to write effectively.  This, with his other mounting health issues made his decision clear.  He shot himself in his office on February 20, 2005 at the age of 67.

SPALDING GRAY


Writer, actor, monologuist, Spalding Gray made a career out of explaining his physical ailments and profound neuroses onstage in one man shows like Swimming to Cambodia and The Monster in the Box.  His witty, hilarious style was so effective it made people forget that inside, Gray was a tortured man, unable to be free of the one thing he could not escape -- his physical body.  After being struck by a car, immobility and constant physical pain drove him into a depression.  So, on January 10, 2004, he went missing.  His body was later found in the East River.  It is believed that he jumped over the side of the Staten Island Ferry.  He was 62.  

REINALDO ARENAS


Reinaldo Arenas was a Cuban born novelist, poet and playwright that fought against the Communist Cuban government.  He writings and his openly gay lifestyle in 60s Cuba put him squarely in sights of the government.  He was imprisoned more than once for his work and lifestyle and suffered profoundly at the hands of the Cuban government.  He fled to the United States in 1980, but he subsequently contracted HIV and found himself in a battle with AIDS during a time when it was still a horrible death sentence.  Understanding his fate, he chose to end his life on his own terms.  He took an overdose of pills on December 7, 1990.  He was 47.

BRIAN KEITH



Beloved TV actor Brian Keith was most well known for his portrayal of Uncle Bill in the 60's family sitcom A Family Affair.  He enjoyed a long and fruitful career in westerns, war films and television.  In the 80's he played a hip, yet cantankerous judge in the drama Hardcastle and McCormick.  His personal life, however, was less successful and surrounded by suicide. His step mother was actress Peg Entwhistle who killed herself by famously throwing herself off the H in the Hollywood sign.  In Keith's later years he suffered from lung cancer and emphysema.  He slipped into a depression.  Then on June 24, 1997, two days after his own daughter committed suicide, Keith shot himself in the head.  He was 75.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY


One of the more famous literary figures to commit suicide in the 20th century was Ernest Hemingway. A man's man, that lived a bold and storied life around the world, lived the stories that he told.  His time in Spain led to the writing of The Sun Also Rises.  His time as a fisherman led to The Old Man and the Sea.  He was truly an inspired individual who held court in Havana and was believed to be a spy for the CIA.  In 1952 while on safari in Africa, he survived a plane crash that left him in constant physical pain.  It seems, no life lived that exquisitely could be allowed to fizzle out.   He shot himself on July 2, 1961. He was 61.

IT'S GROUNDHOG DAY!


Okay campers, rise and shine and don't forget you're booties cuz it's cold out there today.  It's cold out there, everyday...

 


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

JUST SAYIN...

CALLISTA GINGRICH = ANGRY BIRD

ARE YOU A SRIRACHA SOUSE?


A "Sriracha Souse" can be defined as anyone that drenches, slathers or otherwise overuses Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce on everything.  In Thailand, Sriracha is a "dipping sauce."  That means you don't splatter it over everything you eat, destroying flavor and texture, not to mention your palette for real food.  

RYAN SEACREST LOVES SRIRACHA
This sauce has become very popular in the last two decades.  In fact, the Sriracha sauce sold in the United States is an Americanized version of the original Thai sauce.  It's a thicker, ketchupy version that sticks to everything it's squirted on.  It's as if the makers of the sauce realized that Americans cannot help themselves.  Our taste is in our assholes, so they gave us a flavor destroying salve that we can ruin our food with.


Don't get me wrong. I like the sauce, but I also use it sparingly.  I don't need to cry and sweat into every plate of food I eat.   I actually like the taste of food.    So, you know -- stop it!