GOOGLING YOUR SYMPTOMS

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We've all done it.  At the first sign of medical distress, we rush to our computers and Google our symptoms.  Then we proceed to make ourselves sick at the possible worst case scenarios offered up by the search engine.  A vague pain in the right upper back quickly becomes liver failure or an enlarged spleen.  

Of course, there is the off chance that you really do have a rare and deadly form of Lupus that's tell tale diagnostic mark is a left toenail that curls in on itself.  Just like yours! EEEEEK!

Stop it.  You're fine.  To prove it, I'm going to Google a few common symptoms and show you what pops up.

SYMPTOM ONE: HEADACHE

GOOGLE DIAGNOSIS:  A BRAIN ANEURYSM   

A brain aneurysm is a weak spot in a blood vessel in the brain that balloons and fills with blood. If it bursts, it can cause bleeding, known as a brain hemorrhage. One of the symptoms is often described as "the worst headache of your life."

PROBABLE DIAGNOSIS:  A HANGOVER, DEHYDRATION, HUNGER, ANNOYING, CHATTY CO-WORKERS

SYMPTOM TWO: SHORTNESS OF BREATH

GOOGLE DIAGNOSIS: SEVERE ACUTE RESPIRATORY SYNDROME (SARS)

Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a new, potentially life-threatening viral illness.  Because the virus that causes SARS is highly contagious, people with the disease are usually isolated. Treatment includes antibiotics, anti-viral medications, and steroid drugs that reduce inflammation in the lungs.

PROBABLE DIAGNOSIS: SMOKING, OBESITY, LAZINESS

SYMPTOM THREE: BLOODY NOSE

GOOGLE DIAGNOSIS: PRE-LEUKEMIA (MYELODYSPLASTIC SYNDROME)

Myelodysplastic syndromes are diseases that affect the bone marrow and blood. Having MDS means that the bone marrow in your body doesn't make enough healthy blood cells. Some people with MDS eventually may develop leukemia.

PROBABLE DIAGNOSIS: YOU LIVE IN ARIZONA, A BAD COKE HABIT

Some people experience a sort of self satisfaction at learning these possible outcomes as if to validate the pissing, moaning and complaining they've probably just put you through.  So, I am here to tell you to stop it.  Stop Googling your systems.  Hard, though it might be, resist this urge.  Giving in to this kind of madness never ends well.