HIPSTER CRIME BEAT: PUBLIC KNITTING

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Please stop your hipster knitting.  Particularly in public.  For one, it's confusing.  Are you saying, you've got plenty of time to knit your life away or are you saying your time is so precious that every waking moment must include a bag of yarn and two knitting needles?

What you're really saying is, we can't have your undivided attention, at least not until the scarf or tea cozy or turtleneck you're knitting is done.

Oh and you're little projects are so endearing.  Like the fingerless gloves that hide your suicide attempt just enough to make people ask about your suicide attempt.

And your hipster knitting circles where you gather in a room drinking chamomile tea doing your best to ignore everyone else in the room.

I'm sure you feel like you have no choice.  You are compelled to keep knitting and knitting and knitting...!

It was cute for approximately two minutes - ten minutes ago.  Please come back to the world of the living.  Unless you are somebody's grandmother and/or Madame Defarge from a Tale of Two Cities, you need to do all of your knitting in the privacy of your own home.