Monday, April 23, 2012

HIPSTER CRIME BEAT: BAR CHEFS

The simple bartender is a lost and dying breed.  This endangered species is being pushed out by a hipster trend that finally needs to stop.  


First, came the "mixologist."  This was born out of a need for new and interesting drink specialties.  Mixed drink patrons became bored with the simple martini or high ball.  They wanted something more sophisticated.  They wanted to drink Cosmopolitans and feel hip and the mixologist was all too happy to oblige.  


Fair enough.  Then came the "bar chef."  Yes, BAR CHEF.  This is what they call themselves.  I don't just make drinks, I prepare and assemble them like a four star chef.   In other words:  ME ME ME ME ME! 

This flight of fancy attempts to obscure the fact that what you really are, is a bartender.  So, what's the problem?  Who cares?

Well, here's the problem.  Hipster bar chefs, mixologists and drink specialists do something that no bartender should ever do.  EVER.  They make themselves the most important person in the room.  This is a big no no in my book. 

The bartender is a service position.  You are there to serve, be attentive to our needs and otherwise be invisible until you are needed again.  The customer is the most important person, not you and your macerated blackberry-tini.  


I don't want to hear about the latest batch of whiskey stones you imported from Belgium.  In fact, no one wants to hear about your imported whiskey stones.   We don't care that they keep whiskey cold without diluting it.  
Don't get me wrong.  You can make all the frou-frou drinks you want.  People seem to love them.  Just be a bartender.  Make our drinks quickly and quietly and then go away.

KTHXBI! 

1 comment:

  1. Located just a couple blocks from my place this has the perfect location for grabbing drinks on a date or after work. There are never a ton of people here which is really great.

    ReplyDelete