Tuesday, February 14, 2012

WHAT NOT TO BUY YOUR GIRL ON VALENTINE'S DAY


Sadly, some guys are clueless when it comes to buying their girlfriend or wife a gift on Valentine's Day.  To help you, I have put together a brief list of items you should NOT be wrapping up and bringing home to your lover on Valentine's Day.  I am going to skip the obvious no-nos like flowers and candy.


1. A DUST BUSTER

That's right.  Cleaning products of every stripe fall into this category, but what makes the Dust Buster a particularly bad choice is that it shows that you are both insensitive AND cheap.  The ring dings around your girl's furniture are not a big enough reason to buy this item.

2. A DYSON VACUUM

While this falls under the cleaning product rule, it gets its own entry because guys confuse the expensive, top of the line status of the Dyson for a big ticket item.  While they do run into the hundreds of dollars, a vacuum is a vacuum is a vacuum.

3. POT AND PANS

I get it, your wife is a great cook.  She may even love to cook, but new cooking utensils do not inspire romance on any level.  Your Valentine's Day should not start off with the words, "After you cook me an amazing meal..."  Ever.

4. FAKE BOLT-ON TITS

I know, I know.  Your girl has even told you she wants them.  Still, it is bad form to buy fake breasts for your girl on Valentine's Day.  This is the kind of gift that says, "You are not good enough as you are.  So, here -- try these on for size."

5.  A GYM MEMBERSHIP

I really can't object to this one strongly enough.  Even if your girl is at the gym six days a week and you are just renewing her membership, this is a bad idea.  No good can come from this kind of gift.  None.  You have dreams in your head that she'll walk into the house in eight weeks with the banging bod you've always dreamed of, but it will backfire.

In summary, I'm not here, however, to tell you what to buy.  Just make sure it is something she wants as oppose to something she needs.  She may need braces to fix that crooked tooth that cuts your tongue when you kiss, but that is not what she wants.  Your job is to figure it out.  This means you will probably have to talk to her.

Good luck.


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