Thursday, December 15, 2011


You like beard?  Of course you do...

On December 16th, 1916, Grigori Rasputin was assassinated by a group of noble Russian Conspirators. Rasputin was largely believed to be a Russian mystic and substantial force in discrediting the Tsarist government in Russia. History and - more importantly -- common sense has proved him to be a shady, religious charlatan with a good patter and, well, an enormous schlong.

Killing him, however, was no easy task. It took several attempts to finish the job. First, a former prostitute plunged a knife into his abdomen. Witnesses said Rasputin's entrails were hanging out as a result of the attack and thought for sure he would die.

He survived.

So, on the eve of December 16, 1916, Russian nobles, tired of his meddling, lured him to a cellar where they plied him with food and wine laced with enough cynanide to kill five men. All this managed to do was give him an upset stomach -- so fearful he would not die in time for the conspirators to hide his body -- one of the men shot Rasputin with a revolver through the back.

He survived that, too.

Rasputin was so angry to tried to strangle one of the men who decided to check on him. Then the others arrived and shot three more bullets into his body.

After all this, Rasputin was still alive!

So, the men clubbed him into submission, wrapped and bound him in a carpet and tossed him into the river.  Would it surprise you to learn that he managed to escape the bindings?  The irony?  Drowning was the official cause of death.

It has long been held that Rasputin's sizable member was severed and placed in a jar for all to see. One look at this thing and you will understand why it took so many attempts to take his life.

You like schlong?  Of course you do...


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